Obsessing over weight loss made me feel lik 💩
Selling weight loss (aka cleanses, fad quick weight loss diets, ALL the trends we've grown up with and know) is the easiest way to make money. It's selling an aspiration of a happy or better life, that apparently only skinny people experience.
Right now, weight loss is all over the perimenopause/moenopause social media space.
Gaining weight is one of the top 3 symptoms that perimenopausal women complain about. I get it. For many, it seems to come out of nowhere, even when diet and exercise have not changed.
Throughout my 20’s, 30’s through early 40’s , I was on some kind of diet and in my 20’s was also bulimic for 3 years as a way of hating on my body to get skinny. You read that right, I was bulimic for 3 years and seeing a therapist during that time as I knew it was not good for my health but I just kept bingeing and purging. All in the pursuit of skinny.
If you saw photos of my in those decades, you would probably think, Tin’a coming from a place of privilege and has never been "overweight"
And that's the issue with weight loss goals. Devoting all our thoughts to losing pounds is usually not about what we look like on the outside. I know for me, I thought I would fit better in clothes, and thus be happier in my body and happier in my life.
These are the types of thoughts I tortured myself with when weight loss was my goal:
How much do I weight today?
OMG I gained two pounds overnight!! (Then I would fee like shit)
I hate my fat thighs
I exceeded Myfitness pal calories - I’m so bad. I have no discipline.
I am so uncomfortable in my body
I want to get the body back that I had when I was 30. It's only 5-7lbs to go.
NO MORE cookies, Tina, ever again. I have e no self control.
Lately, what triggered my reflections about how much I hate weight loss goals was this podcast episode, Fat Loss Goals are Killing You, by The Movement Maestro, Shante Cofield, who talked about the proliferation of weight loss goals targeted toward perimenpausal women and how as a highly sensitive person, those goals make her feel deeply sad for people. It's a thoughtful episode and worth a listen.
Years of weight loss goals made ME feel deeply sad and dissatisfied with myself and my body.
Yet, at age 53, I don’t think about the scale or weight loss anymore. Gradually over time since my early 40's, I turned my mind and attention to skill acquisition and accomplishments - in other words, positive self building goals.
Examples of where I spend my thoughts and self talk now:
Lifting with barbells makes me feel like a badass queen
I love sauntering into the barbell section of the gym, the dude part, and taking up space.
Let me show off my pull ups while I'm here.
I can jump rope!
When I'm done training for this certification, I can't wait to get back to learning how to box.
I can deadlift 250lbs and I'm 53
I just started agility and jump training a year ago and I can see my improvements!
I love meeting friends at a workout class to socialize!
I'm not trying to be insensitive. Weight gain IS a legitimate perimenopause symptom and mental occupation during our midlife, I’m not suggesting you toss health and weight out the window.
What I want to share is the joys of changing the focus of our time and energy towards celebrating skills and activities that support and fortify our lifelong health. Instead of tracking calories, what about being proud of your daily steps, how you've started doing strength training? Or, that you used to feel so awkward with dumbbells, but now you love how lifting weights makes you feel? In the end, the goal is to live a long, mobile, energetic life, right?
Will you join my in focusing on the good things you’re able to do for yourself?
XO Coach Tina
